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"Bad Ideas" Aren't Good Enough

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Original 1

Posted by christobub on January 22, 2010

People, especially little kids, love to go trick or treating. We should change a few things and create more rules for the safety of all the little children. I propose a few laws and bi-laws.

(editors note: please feel free to add to the laws and bi-laws where you feel necessary, while identifying the date, time, and who is making the amendment)

-law 1. No recall governor elect Arnold look-alike costumes.
•bi-law a. Not even as the terminator or a body builder, etc.
-law 2. No sex in the champagne room.
•bi-law 2a. Okay, maybe a little.
•bi-law 2b. Alright, A LOT.
-law 3. Bi-cameral partisan ruling declares all illegal substances inelligible for distribution on this day of post-mordom celebration.
•bi-law 3a- what?
-law 4. Limit of 100 pieces of candy per child.
•bi-law 4a- any excess is to be given to Halloween pro-tempore.
•bi-law 4b- I elect myself as Halloween pro-tempore.
•bi-law 4c- done.
•bi-law 4d- I am now the receiver of all excess candy.
•bi-law 4e- cool!
•bi-law 4f- falling short of the 100 piece candy limit results in death by “roast”.
(note: we really say roast till you die)
-law 5. Anyone trick or treating and no dressed up is burned at the stake.
•bi-law 5a- bitches.
•bi-law 5b- who the hell is lazy enough to not dress up?
•bi-law 5c- bitches.
-law 6. (an amendment to law 4.) changes are made to bi-law 4f.
•bi-law 6a- you’re really set on fire. For real.
-law 7. Anyone out past 7pm is shot.
•bi-law 7a- then burned.
•bi-law 7b- then their ashes are loaded into a bullet.
•bi-law 7c- then the next offender is shot with it.
•bi-law 7d- and so on, and so forth.
•bi-law 7e- does not apply to patrons older than 17 years of age.
-law 8. Upon request, candy can be substituted by something else of value.
•bi-law 8a- or nakedness.
•bi-law 8b- only I’m allowed to request it.
•bi-law 8c- from your mom.
•bi-law 8d- not really.
•bi-law 8e- just from really hot girls.
-law 9. (an amendment to law 7) changes are made to bi-law 7e.
•bi-law 9a- also does not apply to lil bow wow.
•bi-law 9b- he’s like 12, right?
•bi-law 9c- Aaron Carter is also excused from this law.
•bi-law 9d- because he beat Shaq.
•bi-law 9e- bitch.
-law 10. All laws will be enforced by runners for recall governor of California.
•bi-law 10a- ALL of them.
•bi-law 10b- even Gary Coleman.
•bi-law 10c- but not Marey Carey.
•bi-law 10d- she’ll be in the champagne room.
•bi-law 10e- with me.

-Chris Jarvis


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