Worlds Worst

"Bad Ideas" Aren't Good Enough

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Bear Shield

Posted by Randy on January 5, 2010

Kids, you must always remember this one lesson: Gambling is bad! Here is a short anecdote that can help you remember that wagering your money over something as trivial as whether or not a marble lands on black can ruin your life.

Casinos are like giant angry grizzly bears covered in honey. If you were to ever touch such a monstrous beast in its natural habitat, do you know what would happen? It would tear your ass apart piece by little screaming bitch ass piece. Hey guess what, no one feels sorry for you. That bear was covered in honey, idiot! You were doomed as soon as you touched him. All of that sticky sweet nectar acted like glue and now there is no way for you to escape. It’s not like the bear wasn’t already faster and stronger than you. Why did you go and touch it? There was a very distinct possibility that this bear would have been happily distracted enough by the honey covering his body to keep him occupied for hours. As his teeth rip through your puny bones, I hope you are thinking, “Man it was really dumb of me to go and glue myself to this enormous forest-king-beast.”

I guess that story doesn’t really have anything to do with internet gambling though, since bears don’t know how to use computers. So you should be alright to gamble online as long as you are using your parents credit card.

“Artist’s Rendering of a Bear if it Knew you Were Gambling Online”

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One Response to “Bear Shield”

  1. Christobub said

    Every time I read the title, all I can think of is “bear Jew”. That in itself makes me want a big burly friend named Jules, Julia, or Jubin so I can call them “bear ju”

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