Worlds Worst

"Bad Ideas" Aren't Good Enough

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Hygiene

Posted by wingjivehard on May 13, 2010

Good Idea – Cutting your own toe nails and letting her shave her vagina

Bad Idea – Letting her cut your toe nails while you shave her vagina

Worst Idea –  Taking any of Cosmo’s advice

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These Colors Need Some Advice

Posted by Randy on March 20, 2010

While recently attending a gun rally i got into a small confrontation with someone who thought we should murder babies for medical research. The argument got heated and it was at this point that I realized I should not have worn only the American flag as my outfit for the day. Can someone please offer some advice on how to get blood and placenta or of white canvas?

Posted in Original Thought | 1 Comment »

Vacation

Posted by christobub on March 1, 2010

Good idea: going on vacation.
Bad idea: telling your dad he’s the funniest person in the world.
Worst idea:

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Words Worst From Last Night

Posted by Randy on February 11, 2010

(252): Hey Chris, lets write a post to worldsworst from our phones like it was tfln. Then people will think we are interesting and funny for sure. 6:24 PM

(614): I already think people think im interesting and funny for sure. Example: i almost bought a book called John Dies @ the End, then i realized what happens to John 6:30 PM

(614): Wait, thats neither funny nor interesting. 6:31 PM

(252): I got a subscription to Maxim so people would find me more interesting. 6:36 PM

(252): Great conversation starter I got from Maxim that might make people think I’m interesting… Hey this mag blows. 6:36 PM

(614): Thats my new gay magazine salesman pick up line. It goes hand in hand w/ my Hawaiian flight attendant one: wanna get lei’d?6:44 PM

(252): Maybe we should play a game I learned having to do with gay Hawaiian flight attendants. 6:55 PM

(252): It starts off with us on the opposite ends of America. First we each need to convince a pilot to give us control of their plane for roughly 3 hours. We then try to fly the planes at each other as fast as we can. First one to crash their plan losses and is reincarnated as a gay Hawaiian flight attendant. 6:55 PM

(614): I just got a book about a gay superhero finding himself. Its called Josh Withenshaw: Biography of a Boy 6:55 PM

(252): What if we all had super powers Chris? Mine would be the ability to breathe… underwater. 6:58 PM

(614): Mine would be the ability to do Megan Fox whenever i wanted. And turn water into wine. Too much? I guess wine turns anyone into her, ill stick w the jesus power 7:02 PM

(252): That would also be a way to kill me if I was underwater. I guess we are enemies after all. 7:03 PM

(614): T. Randy Wilson: died at sea, when it turned to wine. Alcohol poisoning, with a BAC rumored at 103. He was a tall drink of water.7:10 PM

(252): I guess it was either going to be you or the sharks… 7:15 PM

(614): I wonder what would happen if you got a shark drunk. 7:16 PM

(252): Drunk sharks would most likely be hilarious. Maybe we should move to the middle of the ocean and get some shark drinking buddies. 7:20 PM

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Newsies

Posted by christobub on February 9, 2010

Good idea: reporting the news to your friends.

Bad idea: reporting your friends to INS.

Worst idea: reporting things like: “Obama called it snowmaggedon. That was after he looked out his back door and saw the south lawn, and DC, covered in white. Is mother nature trying to tell you something O bams?”

Editors note: racism is hilarious, unless you really mean it.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Power to the Peepole

Posted by Randy on January 31, 2010

A great super power would be the ability to shoot fire out of different body parts. Over the last 15 years scientists have been working on a formula to determine what body part is the most “wicked awesome” to shoot flames out of. Their extensive research has returned this result: Penis.
Due to your ability to read this far into this post I will teach you how to obtain the feeling of your own super power.
Get chlamydia, people will soon think that you are “wicked awesome”. The easiest way to do this is to get drunk and have unprotected sex with the a whore near Shaney D’s house. Before you obtain your power, make sure she has her tubes tied, because you don’t want your first-born-child to grow up in Detroit. That would not be responsible.

Things to think about: How did Superman get all of his powers? How many ladies of the night would you sleep with to be Superman?/ Robin?

Posted in Original Thought | Leave a Comment »

American In America

Posted by Randy on January 27, 2010

A great idea for a movie is filming a guy driving to every Wal-Mart and McDonald’s across the Real America (read Texas), but there is a twist as one would expect in an epic film such as the one I am describing. The guy is not from Texas, he’s from Fake America (read a blue state) and to top it off our main character is wearing an Obama t-shirt. The film will cut to Michael Moore occasionally, playing air guitar to songs by Rush and scenes with Rush Limbaugh doing lines of coke. This would all be narrated by Big Bird and Nancy Pelosi. The twist… the American is really a dirty Frenchman and his t-shirt is actually an ad for cigarettes. That would probably blow Titanic out of the water.

Final twist (read spoiler alert), it was actually Avatar, you were just drunk when you watched it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

iTarded

Posted by Randy on January 27, 2010

Good Idea: Making a multimedia phone that sells like hotcakes to eager American consumers.

Bad Idea: Making it way bigger, but not really adding anything new to it.

Worst Idea: Giving the new product a name that just begs to be compared to female menstrual products.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Original 1

Posted by christobub on January 22, 2010

People, especially little kids, love to go trick or treating. We should change a few things and create more rules for the safety of all the little children. I propose a few laws and bi-laws.

(editors note: please feel free to add to the laws and bi-laws where you feel necessary, while identifying the date, time, and who is making the amendment)

-law 1. No recall governor elect Arnold look-alike costumes.
•bi-law a. Not even as the terminator or a body builder, etc.
-law 2. No sex in the champagne room.
•bi-law 2a. Okay, maybe a little.
•bi-law 2b. Alright, A LOT.
-law 3. Bi-cameral partisan ruling declares all illegal substances inelligible for distribution on this day of post-mordom celebration.
•bi-law 3a- what?
-law 4. Limit of 100 pieces of candy per child.
•bi-law 4a- any excess is to be given to Halloween pro-tempore.
•bi-law 4b- I elect myself as Halloween pro-tempore.
•bi-law 4c- done.
•bi-law 4d- I am now the receiver of all excess candy.
•bi-law 4e- cool!
•bi-law 4f- falling short of the 100 piece candy limit results in death by “roast”.
(note: we really say roast till you die)
-law 5. Anyone trick or treating and no dressed up is burned at the stake.
•bi-law 5a- bitches.
•bi-law 5b- who the hell is lazy enough to not dress up?
•bi-law 5c- bitches.
-law 6. (an amendment to law 4.) changes are made to bi-law 4f.
•bi-law 6a- you’re really set on fire. For real.
-law 7. Anyone out past 7pm is shot.
•bi-law 7a- then burned.
•bi-law 7b- then their ashes are loaded into a bullet.
•bi-law 7c- then the next offender is shot with it.
•bi-law 7d- and so on, and so forth.
•bi-law 7e- does not apply to patrons older than 17 years of age.
-law 8. Upon request, candy can be substituted by something else of value.
•bi-law 8a- or nakedness.
•bi-law 8b- only I’m allowed to request it.
•bi-law 8c- from your mom.
•bi-law 8d- not really.
•bi-law 8e- just from really hot girls.
-law 9. (an amendment to law 7) changes are made to bi-law 7e.
•bi-law 9a- also does not apply to lil bow wow.
•bi-law 9b- he’s like 12, right?
•bi-law 9c- Aaron Carter is also excused from this law.
•bi-law 9d- because he beat Shaq.
•bi-law 9e- bitch.
-law 10. All laws will be enforced by runners for recall governor of California.
•bi-law 10a- ALL of them.
•bi-law 10b- even Gary Coleman.
•bi-law 10c- but not Marey Carey.
•bi-law 10d- she’ll be in the champagne room.
•bi-law 10e- with me.

-Chris Jarvis
10/31/2003

Posted in Original Thought | Leave a Comment »

Theme Week, Weak

Posted by christobub on January 21, 2010

Remember back in the day when you would have a week where you and your friends (or not your friends) would dress up as dictated by a different theme every day?

I have this suggestion for the week:

Sunday: “Lazy Sunday” -
ground rules
1. Wear ONLY sweats.
2. You can match, or don’t.
3. Holes welcome (no dirty drawers)
4. + 5 extra points for each headband/sweatband worn

Monday

wait, I really like the + symbol. I feel like we should rename it. “Plus sign” is not as much fun as saying words like asterisk or ampersand. From now on I want to call it Anderson Cooper.

So.

Monday: “Somebodys Got a Case of the Mondays”-
1. Collared shirt and tie required.
2. Coffee mug.
3. I hate the show king of the hill.
4. Now I just want to find a real life version of Bobby and punch him in the stomach.

Tuesday: fuck Tuesdays.
1. Tugrussel Tuesday?
2. Ask shane.
3. Maybe taco Tuesday.

Wednesday: “WT Weds”-
1. Wife beater.
2. K fed.
3. Mullet wig or trucker hats only.

Thursday: “Thirsty Thursday”-
1. You drunk aaalllll daaayyyy.

Friday: “Funky Fridays”-
1. BIG NEON GLASSES
2. Afro?
3. No plaid, no tie dye, no chumps

Saturday: “Saturday Fatterday!”
1. Eat food
2. Wear a banana suit
3. Maybe a meat suit
4. Possibly a hot dog suit.
5. Yeah, hot dog suits get Anderson Cooper 10 extra points.

So we should, like, totally get into the spirit!

Wait, this isn’t a sorority.

Posted in New and Improved | 1 Comment »

 
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